At Life's Crossroads

It's probably the right time to sit down and take stock of how my life is poised. I can clearly recognize this to be a transitional period - one phase leading to another. Change is in the air, and I welcome it wholeheartedly, while being prudent of the demanding nature of the course that lies ahead. Though the prospect of what's in store seems exciting, I deem it necessary to reflect on those many anxious months that led up to this day.

They were tough! I'd believed the words of a supposed trustworthy troupe. I'd thought I earned it and that I deserved to be a part of it. Sure enough, I was left to deal with the disappointment of a promise not kept and those many other emotions that accompany it. Soon, I found myself knocking on the doors of the troupe's cousins, and each of them found a reason to shut their doors on me. It is said that it takes courage to knock again. But I thought that would be more on the lines of desperation than courage. I told myself that I didn't need to be let in. If it wasn't going to come easy, then I would go get it the hard way. I realized nothing in life could be taken for granted. I decided to pre pone a certain plan that I had for the future and started working on it. I had the time for it. I could give it my best shot and see where it could take me.

The days that followed were difficult. Looking back and pondering on what made them difficult, I find two reasons. One was the fact that I could not come to terms with the situation I found myself in. The other, of course, was the discomfort caused by the peering looks and enquiries of fellow earthlings; they become especially interested in you when they figure out that you would rather want to be left alone. Now wait! Who said I am complaining! After all, I am a 'social' being, and that's my problem! Ain't it?!

Whether or not I felt pleasant about how life was treating me, work needed to be done. If I worked, I at least had a chance. So I stuck to the work at hand. Did I slog? No! Did I lose sleep? Definitely not. Did I recreate? I sure did! But, I also worked. I had to. Everyone has to (though they can choose to deny it).

The process was long and the competition stiff. And I wasn't particularly confident of my abilities. But I didn't drop out of the system. I wouldn't call it perseverance. But I did hang on. And when the process ended and the result was announced, I was sitting pretty. Now, did I deserve what I got? Was it for good that the troupes shut their doors on me? Was this destiny? I do not know! I just know that I've been presented with a very good opportunity, and I shall work to make the best of it.

As I stand at a crossroads of life, I realize that life's dualities need to be accepted and appreciated. It is probably these contrasting experiences and feelings that makes life worth the effort of living through it! Each of them has a certain lesson to teach, and each such lesson helps in guiding us through every subsequent journey in life, until we hit the next crossroads...