The Premier Halls of Ivy

As the ephemeral brume made way for the oblique rays, as the post daybreak sonorities transpired, as nature and its habitants prepared for the possible contingencies of yet another day, I would walk in. I always made it a point to be there much earlier than was required. I loved what it felt like to be alone in that vast expanse - a feeling of being the sole possessor of it all - and to be the first. Those few moments of solitude and silence, that would gradually be encroached by the cliques and their intonations, were probably indicative of the accommodations that I would have to make in my life for reasons beyond myself.

I had lived through various stages of my life there. It was a continuous process of change during which ignorance made way for knowledge, bewilderment for understanding, chaos for orientation, and purity for filth. Every state was transient; change was constant. I saw and conceived the same things in different ways as the years went by. There was a period of childish indifference during which remarkably insignificant and inconsequential things mattered the most. This was followed by a stage when I became painfully aware of the more important aspects of life, which then led to an even more excruciating concept of comparisons with peers. Now, everything was relative - competition it was. It was a period of adolescent petulance at every constructive development that occurred in a friend's continuance. And, all along, the tutors became less of unapproachable vicious individuals and more of bounteous warm characters.

What had seemed to be perpetual and everlasting came to an abrupt and unexpected end. What made me allow that to happen, I still do not grasp. They had said, "Step Forth, Tomorrow Is Yours"; I had said, "I am coming back". He had said, "As we stand at the edge of the cliff of uncertainty, we dare you to push us..."; I had said, "Not yet!". And out of the blue came the bitter realization of not being there anymore - of not being a part of it. It is the only place I miss being in; it is the only place I wish I could go back to; it is the only part of my life that I would want to relive.

Far away as I may be from you, mine shall still be the grand old rule - On Straight On!   

Fountainhead

You had waited long, through the insolent stares and the impudent confab of the callous clan. But you hadn't given up hope. And it happened, as it does, and should, to all the honourable and righteous souls - you deserved it more than anyone. Its fascinating how you do it; confine your life to a single purpose and see the entire world through it. You derived the pleasures of living through authoring and nurturing another. You experienced the manifold emotions even before your essay developed a sense of feeling. And you were there always; you gave it life and form and purpose - you paved the path, you showed the way. Even when the plebeian horde disdained and scoffed, you stood by and comforted. And when they praised and blessed, your contentment - that quite ecstasy - laid bare the pride you took in your work. An epitome of all benevolence and magnanimity, you have been a grand creator - an architect of life. 

The Clairvoyant And The Misanthrope

While probing into the root causes of all conflict, and the subsequent anguish and misery, I find it difficult to discount the effect of the flagrant interference of people in each others' lives. Why attach such an inordinate significance to another person's affairs when you've got your own to bother with?! I cannot help but be enticed by the thought of a world in which every entity existed by itself - may not be in total independence, but at least free of constant trespassing into one's seclusion and peace. A world  where everything was more absolute than relative; more self-centered - not in the context of greed or selfishness, but in a way that makes one almost oblivious to the details of another's existence.

Would such an arrangement have a provision for friendship and love and compassion?? Probably not. But, neither would there be enmity and hatred and envy. Would humanity buy that? Would we be prepared to trade love, benevolence, kindness and mercy for a guarantee against abhorrence, violence, spleen and misery? Is 'nothing' better than a coexistence of both the good and the bad?! Would we rather not be liked than be loathed?!

Now, this consideration brings an interesting thought. What would happen in such a world if one found another dying? Would we now have to introduce clauses that would describe our moral course of action under exceptional situations?? Then, how would we qualify an occurrence as 'exceptional'? Do we classify all plausible circumstances into those where people should intervene in each other's lives and those where they should'nt? That would be equivalent to saying 'Only congeniality between people allowed' - a blatant violation of the basic necessity of balance and symmetry in life! So, in our new world, if someone is dying, we would have to leave him there, and not even hope that he has a strong will to live.

The realization of the coldness and the depravity and the malice that would be inherent in my fantasized world brings me crashing back to the 'real' world. Maybe this is how it ought to be. Maybe there is no easier or better structure. Maybe I should just walk back into the peering looks and the curious gazes, and either ignore them or feel naked again...SIGH!