Characters in the play:
Man
God
SCENE 1 - A hall. It had far too many doors for a single hall. It was totally empty but for a couple of armchairs. God sat in one of them, an easy relaxed posture, eyes closed, seeming to be at peace with everything. Enter Man - hurried steps - looks tense and anxious.
Man: God! I am so damn sorry! I am late! I kinda got stuck.
[ God looks up at the Man, smiles and gestures him to the other chair]
God: Son, what is 'late'?
[ Man takes the chair]
Man: God, I know you're being sarcastic and rightly so. But I really got stuck. I tried my best!
God: That's fine son. But that doesn't explain what 'late' is.
Man: Please God! I said I am sorry! I really am!
God: I understand you beg my forgiveness for whatever reason. And I grant it to you. I like you, son. So please relax and be kind enough to let me know what the word means.
Man [irritated] : Okay!! When you are 'late', it means you are not 'in time'!
God: Hmmm...very interesting. You're late if you're not in time. But then son, what is 'time'?
Man: God, enough of this! Life's pissed me enough already. You don't want to play your part in it!
God: Look kid, I am not here to 'piss' you - whatever that means! Now be polite and tell your God what this time thing is!
Man [fuming] : Okay fine God, fine! [more politely] Time is what you see in your watch! Hours and minutes and seconds. Even days and years! Its like a reference.
God: Hmmm...reference to what kid??
Man: Reference to err...ahem...events! Yes, to events! Actually, a flow of events.
God [laughs] : Reference to a flow of events! You crazy human pricks!
Man [offended] : Okay God! That's enough! Stop acting like you've never heard of 'time' before!
God: What makes you think I would've heard of it before?!
Man: It's not like I am the first human you're meeting!
God: It's not like humans are my only creation! I've got many others to meet!
Man: But we've conquered Earth now! We're prevalent and we dictate things on Earth! How could you've not met more than one of us??
God: Well, I could make sense of most of what you just said, but son, what is 'now'??
Man [infuriated] : Will you please stop it!! This is getting out of hand! I came here for some guidance and peace. Not to be mocked at!!
God: I did not mock at you, kid! Why would I? I told you I really like you. Okay, you seem pretty disturbed. What's it kid?
Man [sighs] : Finally some sanity! Huh well, its my job. And my wife.
God: What about your job, kid?
Man: I lost it!!
God: Oh okay. So, does it matter?
Man [fuming] : Of course it does!! How else do I make money!! Oh wait! You wouldn't know what money means, would you! Just screw it! Yeah, it doesn't matter. Nothing does.
God [smiles] : And your wife?
Man: Oh she! She left me. She fell in love with some other jerk.
God: Sweet! She fell in love! I always knew that humans would be capable of a lot of love!
Man: What the hell! Have you lost it?!! She's my wife! And she is now with another guy! Do you know what that means!!
God: What, son?
Man [terribly irritated] : It means she's doing stuff out of 'wedlock'!!!
God: Wedlock?! Lock?!! You mean you creatures confine your love to just one person? You reserve love?! That's insane!!
Man [gets up, shouts] : No!! You are insane! I am out of here! Goodbye, God!!
[Man turns around and heads to the door from which he'd entered. He opens it and storms out]
SCENE 2 - Same hall. Man re-enters through another door. He stomps up to God. God remains as he was, eyes closed.
Man [shouts] : Now what on earth was that?!!
God [looks up, smiles] : Oh you're back!
Man [continues shouting] : What was that?!!
God: What, son?
Man: That's not where I came from!!
God: What did you see?
Man: All kinds of hideous creatures and structures I've never seen before! Not even in movies!! What have you done to me?! Are you the real God?! Or are you one of those sorcery guys?! [looks away from God] Christ! Why did I ever come to this madman!
God [counting on his fingers] : Movies, sorcery, Christ...Okay, I am not going to ask you what these mean. But son, I've done nothing to you! It's just that you took the wrong door!
Man [puzzled] : The wrong door?!!
God: Yes son! The wrong door. I'll find you the right one.
[God rose and checked the many doors. As he opened and closed each of them, the Man understood why God seemed to have absolutely no sense of time. It was because there was no 'time'. Time was but a mere human perception that seemed to connect each event to every other event. But in reality, they all occurred together. At once. Each at a certain door]
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